This is dumb.

In my fever delirium the other day I made up a song, to the well-known tune of Deep Purple's Smoke on the Water. It goes like this:

This. is. dumb.

Dumb. dumb. dumb. dumb.

This. is. dumb.

Real dumb.

You have to sing it low, and slow, and with an unimpressed tone of voice. Mohamed thinks it's good. He even got me to sing it to the nurse, but he chose the wrong nurse, who gave me no pity laughs.

We actually got out of the hospital on Wednesday afternoon. I had ticked all the boxes: no fevers for 48 hours, 24 hours without antibiotics, eating fine, neutrophils up. Winning. I was over the two weeks where I'd feel “the worst I'd have ever felt in my life”. They even tempted me with the possibility of getting my PICC line out on Friday. My friends, your line coming out is a big thing. It means you're done; it's no longer needed anymore. You're free.

We went back to the accommodation and I napped for a few hours. Life was good. Then I decided to check my temperature: 38.3. FFS. Anything above 38 is a fever and requires a hospital visit. I rang the ward and pleaded with my robust neutrophils to the doctor that maybe I didn't need to come in, but to no avail. We go back in to ED. Probably 5 hours after we left.

ED is ED; I know the drill now. I think this is fever visit number 3, or 4? Who bloody knows anymore. I don't pass the tests to go home and told I'm going to get admitted, so starts the long wait for a hospital bed. At 1am, they tell me there's no room in the ward so they're going to move me to the ED Observation Unit. Mates, if you get EDOU you've lucked out. It's always super quiet and you get your own room. Always a treat after hours in the corridor.

I get moved there, and as soon as the nurse leaves she comes back to tell me I have COVID.

What the actual fuck? How on earth did I get COVID? I'm moved to a negative pressure isolation room in another ward.

So I have COVID, and it's quickly apparent it didn't come from my aunt or Mohamed, the only people I’ve had close by. The doctors admit freely it would have come from the ward. They always said the hospital wasn't the safest place for me.

I will say I was pretty indignant for a bit. We'd worked so hard not to bring in bugs, to the point I didn't drink a smoothie because it had uncooked berries in it. We'd been in isolation for a week, and a normal ward for four days. I’d only left my spot for the bare minimum, always with a mask. Now Mohamed visits with an N95 and keeps his distance so that he doesn't catch it and get outed from our accommodation for being a risk to other patients.

COVID, for me this time, comes with rubbish, sweaty, chilly, nauseating fevers. I mostly manage them, but the other night I had a really shit one, that for the first time, made me lose my grace and get angry and upset. I took enough slow breaths to get my headphones without vomiting and listened to Ludovico. I can't say I enjoyed it, but it distracted me enough to fall asleep.

I'm writing this in the midst of another fever, though this one has turned out ok, in the scheme of things. They're daily or twice daily at the moment and I won't get out till they stop.

I don't have anything particularly profound to say in this post, but Mohamed really wanted me to share my song with you all. So, you're welcome.

But, actually, I also want to say that with the removal of all COVID regulations and protections here in New Zealand, for the sake of those you care about, please continue to wear masks in health care facilities, and please isolate if you know you have COVID. It may be nothing to you, but it could be debilitating for anyone who doesn't have the immune system to combat it.

And with that, it's probably time to try and sleep again.

This is dumb. But we'll get there.